This year so far...

Most of the people who actually read this blog are my friends in real life and/or on facebook, so this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, but I'm pregnant. I wanted to capture more of my thoughts about this then I'm able to on facebook. I also figure I'll have more to write about now that I'm having a baby, so that may be good for keeping up with this blog. (I feel like all of my posts lately have been talking about how long it's been since I last blogged.) Needless to say, that is what most of my year has consisted of, so here's the scoop:

Jason and I were finally comfortable with the idea of trying to have a child. We wanted to try to time it as close to the end of the school year as possible (as if we're in control of that), so I would have the summer break as a built-in maternity leave. Once we passed that, I knew that we would conceive whenever God wanted us to, so I was just excited to see when it would happen. There is this song that Prestonwood Choir sings, which I love ("God (You Are My God)"). The words start, "Oh, Thou who knowest my beginning, Thou who created the plan. Who orchestrated my life's journey, God, you are my God." (I love the concept of God orchestrating things in my life, hence the title of this blog.) Anyway, I kept thinking about how God would know my baby's beginning, even before I knew of it. How cool is that?

In the middle of January, I started to suspect that I may be pregnant. I had been tracking my temperature, and based on that, I was thinking that I may be. I told Jason that I was planning to take a pregnancy test the next day. So on the morning of January 16, I got up and took the test. It immediately flashed the word "pregnant." Gulp. Now, even though I had been wanting this for a few months now, I think I sort of felt like, "Oh, no, it really happened." Not that I didn't want it or anything, I think all of a sudden all of these nerves and fears shot through me. I went back to bed, where Jason was, and I just said, "I am." All he said was, "You are?" It was surreal. Of course, once we got up, he immediately modified the budget for this year. We also moved some of the furniture out of the baby's room. (That is definitely one of Jason's strengths--he gets things done right away.)

My original plan was that I didn't want to tell anyone, not even our parents, that we were pregnant until I was 12 weeks. Partly to make it to the "safer" time, and partly to do something creative to tell them. Well, the more the day went on, I just wanted to be able to share the news with them. So we decided to call our parents and tell them our news. Of course, they were so excited. And I probably wouldn't have been able to get done the creative way of letting them know anyway.

One of the main things that I remember thinking at that point was that I knew things were going to totally change, even though I didn't fully comprehend how. Also, I knew my body was going to totally transform, in a way I couldn't imagine. It was weird knowing that something was in there and not coming out until after all these huge changes occurred. And even then, things would never be like they were before. From what I've read, that's totally a normal feeling. Of course, there's excitement, but there's a lot of fear of the unknown, too.

Soon after I found out I was pregnant, I already started to feel queasy. That is definitely not the fun part of being pregnant. I'd say my "morning" sickness (which was pretty constant) lasted for about 6 to 8 weeks. Thankfully, I was not one of the minority who are sick throughout their whole pregnancy.

It didn't fully hit me, though, until my 8-week sonogram, the first peek we had at our baby. As soon as I saw that picture and realized that that was inside me, it was just a weird feeling. I did tear up, especially knowing that the baby was measuring at the appropriate size. It was at that point that I let my friends know and announced it on facebook. Before that point, I had figured we were having a boy, but after seeing the little peanut picture, I started thinking of the baby more as a girl. By the time we found out, I was pretty sure it was a girl.

First photo of the baby

I was so excited for my mother-in-law to find out, because since she has 2 sons and a grandson, she was itching to have a granddaughter. We had had an early peek from my friend and former roommate, and although she didn't give us a definitive, she was pretty sure that it was a girl. We didn't tell people at that point, but waited until my 16-week sonogram. My mother-in-law, Barbara, was there for that. It was funny, because when the scan first started, she was referring to the baby as "he." She told Jason, "I think he has your foot." Then, when the tech said she was leaning toward a girl, Barbara said, "What?!" She asked us if that's what Debra told us. When we said it was, she gave out a little scream. Jason joked that everyone at the doctor's office knew what we were having. It was so fun to see, though!

It's a girl! (16 weeks)

 

We've decided on the name Emery Elizabeth. We've actually had the name for about 4 and a half years. Jason's grandfather was named Emory. It's also Jason's middle name. He told me about 6 months after we were married that he wanted to use the name Emory for either a boy or a girl. I've always wanted to use Elizabeth for a middle name, since that's my grandmother's first name (she goes by her middle name, though.) So when he said that, I immediately thought Emery Elizabeth would be such a pretty name. So I've been hoping for over 4 years that we would have a girl so that I could use this name. And sure enough, that's what we're getting!

16 week profile. Isn't she cute?

As we get our nursery together more, I'll update and post more pictures on here. I'm now at 23 weeks, and I'm definitely a lot more ready for these changes. I know I'm not fully prepared. I hear you never really are, though. But I can't wait to see what she looks like, which of us she favors, what her personality is going to be, and all of that. Within the last week I've been feeling her move a lot more, which is really cool, as everyone has told me. Then last week, I read these verses from Psalm 139:13-16. I've heard them for years, but they definitely take on a different meaning now. "You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother's body. I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well. You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother's body. When I was put together there, you saw my body as it was formed. All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old." Again, knowing that God knows all of the days of Emery's life, already, even as she is still being formed inside of me, it's just really comforting. And amazing!

What's Goin' On

I've been thinking about blogging for a while, I just haven't taken the time to do it. Mostly I've been doing photo stuff, or I've been reading, so I just hadn't had the blog on the top of my priority list.

One thing I have been wanting to blog about is the fact that I am back at all elementary schools in my job. (The last 2 school years I have been at 1 elementary and a middle school.) I wanted to try out middle school to see what it was like. The first year was good. I did more counseling (it's mostly testing and problem-solving for interventions in elementary) and I liked the kids I saw. But the second year was a little more stressful and the kids I had to counsel weren't as receptive. I decided I am more comfortable and skilled with the problems of elementary school, rather than the issues of middle school. So, even though I'm REALLY busy at both elementary schools, I am enjoying work so much more! I hate to say it, but it got to where I was really dreading going in those days last year. The best thing about it was that I got to go in an hour later. Of course, I had to stay an hour later, too, so that part wasn't as fun. Bottom line: work is going well.

I can't believe it's already Christmas again. I hate to sound old, but time really does go by faster the older you get. But, this was the first year that I was not in Idlewild's Christmas presentations since I started singing in them in 1988. Last year I was still in it, even though we had already started going to Grace. I welcomed the extra time this year, but the presentation had a story line, which are my favorite kind. We went to see it last week, and I have to admit, I teared up a bit a couple of times, just from the nostalgia, and that initial feeling of "I should be up there." It was so great to see people, including some that are back after having been gone for years. It was a fun night.

Christmas came early for the Johnsons this year. I decided that I really wanted a DSLR camera, so Jason decided that we should get it before Thanksgiving. (He said this was so I would know how to use it by Christmas, when I would want to get good pictures.) I got a Canon Rebel T1. I also was able to get the newest version of Photoshop, so I was very excited. (Since I work for the school system, I was eligible to get the student/teacher version for much cheaper.) So, now I will be able to do some awesome scrapbook layouts of some great photographs taken with my wonderful camera. Yay!

I'm just going to say, I am loving the cold weather we are having right now. I honestly can't remember it ever getting into the 30s this often, before Christmas. Yeah, January and February it does, but the beginning and middle of December? I just wish I was already on break so I didn't have to get up and out in it. I wonder if this winter is going to be another extreme one like last winter was. I hope so, it's fun.

Pictures

Last post I said I would put up pictures of Desmond playing with my uncle's dog when I visited my grandparents. So here they are.

I think they had a good time. I had to put Desmond in his crate, though, because he wanted to continually play with Rusty, even though they were both tired.

I'll have to take him up there again some time. He needs to socialize with other dogs more.

We have been taking him to a training class at PetSmart. He is a stinker, though. He learns pretty quickly once he realizes he's getting a treat for it. But, boy, is he talkative. He comes in the store yelping so loudly. The other day one of our classmates said she knew that was us. How embarrassing. But I guess it's a schnauzer thing. Gotta love them.

Last post I also was hoping that Amy would make it for a visit, which she did, even though it was so short. They got on a plane in Germany last Saturday and flew to an air force base in Mass, then drove 20 minutes to a Connecticut airport to fly to Tampa. So they got here on Sunday. I saw them Sunday and Monday evening, then they flew to Texas for the wedding that Ben and Jordan are in. At least I got to see them for a little bit. I had said I wanted to be able to see Ava one more time before she turned 1, so I got to do that. I got some good pictures, though, which was good.

First me and my sister.

Then my niece, Jordan. What a little "poser."

Then this picture of Ava. SO cute!

My parents with their grandchildren. All of them are so cute.

Then just my nephews and nieces. Love this picture. Don't know the next time they'll all be together :(

The next day, Jason was with me, so I got this picture of him reading to Jordan. It was so cute, he was reading the wrong words on purpose, and she was laughing and correcting him. (She starts kindergarten this year, so she's more advanced than a lot of the kindergarteners I see in my schools.)

 

Lazy Days of Summer

Well, my summer is over, as of tomorrow. They go by so quickly now that I'm an adult. I'm not surprised. I knew going into it that it would be over before I knew it. Although, I have to say, in some ways it does seem like a long time. I was off for just under 8 weeks, and, yes, I know that most people only get 2 to 5 weeks off. And my husband always reminds me that I also get 2 weeks at Christmas, a week of spring break, a week (since this last year) at Thanksgiving, and a few single days in between.

I didn't do a ton of things this summer, but I really enjoyed it. We did go to Memphis for my family reunion on my mom's side. It was fun to see my cousin who I hadn't seen since high school. I also met her daughter and niece, who I had never met before. Jason and my dad played pool most of the time. My grandparents' farm is really nice. We were just there for the weekend, but it was relaxing. We went to Graceland when we flew in, which was interesting. I've been to Memphis many times, but I had never gone to Graceland, so I figured I might as well. First of all, the house was not nearly as big as I would imagine (by today's standards). Then, it was kind of weird to walk in there and see things the way they were back in the 70s when he died. I mean, I know that they wouldn't change it, but it just felt really weird to be in there. The decorations were very tacky, but at the same time, it was kind of cool to see. It was weird to see gift shops coming out of all the exhibits. It felt like being at a theme park. I wonder what Elvis would have thought if he had known his home (technically the gift shops were all across the street, but still) would be turned into that.

Jason had the rest of that week off, so we hung out at home, then went to Orlando for a few days. We didn't do Disney, but we did go to Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and Sea World. It was so nice. We also got a good deal on a hotel room, so that made it even better. I definitely miss when we had our Disney passes and went over there all the time. Maybe one day we'll be able to do that again, but it doesn't seem to be in our near future.

I read a lot over the summer. If you haven't heard of the website goodreads.com, and you enjoy reading, you should check it out. It's a good way to find new books to read. You can also write reviews on books you've read, but I haven't done that too much yet. I think I'm too afraid that people will be critical of what I say. Yes, I'm that sensitive and care what people think of me. Maybe I'll get over it some day.

Of course, I also scrapbooked. I really worked a lot on my honeymoon album, that I tried to start last summer, but I wasn't as good at it then. I got a good amount done, and I feel like I've learned a lot about it at the same time.

I got together with a couple of good friends that I don't see that much anymore. I had a great time with both of them. It's cool how you can pick up where you left off. Of course, I wish that I did still see them, but going to different churches now and busy lives equals not much time for getting together.

I went to see my grandparents like I usually try to do. I brought Desmond with me, at my grandmother's request, so he could play with my uncle's dog, Rusty. More on this later, cause I want to post pictures, but I haven't taken them off my camera yet.

The one disappointment of the summer, was that I was hoping that my sister and the girls would get to visit from Germany. Because she's flying on a military plane, space available, she basically was on stand-by every day. She went to the airport for 12 days, with the girls, only to find out that she was not getting on the plane. I had no idea that it would be that unlikely for her to go, so I had expected to hang out with her for the last couple of weeks. Now, I'm hoping that she'll at least make it over with Ben and Jordan (they're flying to Texas for a wedding) for a couple of days so that I can at least see Ava one more time before she turns 1.

So all in all, it was a nice summer, even though not really exciting. Kind of lazy, but I need that sometimes. Especially since now that work is starting, there's no more time for laziness.

P90X-For Real

I've mentioned before that I've had almost no motivation to work out recently. I wanted the benefits of working out, but just had no desire to get going with it and start doing something. I'm definitely probably the heaviest that I've been in my life, so I knew that I needed to. I'm not really loving pictures of myself right now, which planted the seed of motivation. I also would at least like to be more fit when I get pregnant, just because I think it would be better all around. So, I'd been thinking that I would at least start doing the P90X yoga a few times a week. I just needed the garage clean out a little, because that's where we set up our "gym."

So I got home from work on Tuesday and Jason had cleaned the garage for me. I went out and did the yoga. I couldn't even do the whole 90 minutes that it is, but I did most of it. I felt it in my muscles the next day, which I always LOVE, because I know I've done something good for my body. Jason suggested that I start the P90X again, but do the Lean program rather than the Classic. When we did the program before, Jason was working from home and had a lot more free time. His job now also is more physical, so he's often tired when he comes home and not as likely to want to work out.

So, I started the Lean program on Thursday. For the first phase of the program, only the first 2 days is different than what I did before, then the rest of the week is the same. This is very good for me, because my least favorite day of the Classic program is the Plyometrics (Day 2). Ugh. Although the Core Synergistics (Day 1 of the Lean) is probably a close second. At least for now. I'm pretty happy with myself that I immediately developed this motivation to do this. It does take a lot of time, though, but it's something that I need to do. I don't know why I had such an aversion to it before. I guess I get more motivated during this time of year. I will definitely update on my progress in a future post.

Things I've been thinking about lately

At my church we've been going through a series called "Creating Space." It's basically about what it sounds like it's about. Creating space in our lives. The first message particularly spoke to me. He was talking about giving yourself more time, so you aren't just rushing to places last minute. He was specifically talking about church so that you can get yourself in the frame of mind to worship, but I needed to hear that for all aspects of my life. He also talked about just resting in God's sovereignty, trusting Him to work and not feeling like we have to do all this stuff in order for things to happen. Which was something that I needed to be reminded of at that time. I have all these things that I want for me and Jason, and our future family, and I have to just remember that God knows best (so I may not even really want what I think I want) and that He will work things out in my life according to His will. And I don't have to work so hard to make it happen. Not that I just sit back and do nothing, but it's not up to me. I'm not in charge.

Also in our small group, we've been reading the book Crazy Love. I really like it so far. But in one of the chapters he talks about the fact that we aren't promised tomorrow. Yet we live like we are entitled to it. I've heard the sermons before about the passage in James, where it says not to boast about tomorrow, because you don't know what a day will bring. But I guess this was the same weekend as the first Creating Space message, and something was said about that passage that really hit me about God's sovereignty again. Not only could something happen causing us to not be here tomorrow, but also something could happen to take us along a completely different path than we planned. There have been many things in my life that have changed as a result of events and decisions that were made within a day. So it just reiterated to me that God is in control, He knows what tomorrow will bring, and thankfully, I can trust that He loves me.

In that same chapter of Crazy Love, he talks about 50 or 100 years from now, nobody will even remember you. That made me think about how my sister has been doing some research on our ancestry. And it's true, some of those names are just names. It's who I came from, but I don't know them. I'm sure their lives were just as important to them as mine is to me, but apart from a few details, I know nothing about them or what they felt was important. The author states that our lives are basically two-fifths of a second in God's timeline. Makes you feel pretty insignificant, doesn't it? And makes you think twice about what is important.

Of course, that doesn't mean I don't still want things that are probably meaningless. But I'm just realizing that they aren't as important, and if it happens, great, but if not, then my life is still blessed.

Long Overdue

It has been way too long since I've blogged. My scrapbooking has taken over for the last couple of months, but now I'm on spring break, and I wanted to update.

Things have been going well. Work has been busy, but not too overwhelming. But spring break was definitely needed. I'm trying to appreciate this week off and not look ahead to the 8 or 9 weeks of school that I have left. I know, most people don't get this much time off, which is why I want to appreciate it. I just would be completely satisfied if I never had to work again. At least I think I would be. Who knows.

I have now been singing somewhat regularly on Saturday nights at Grace. I've been put on the schedule a couple of times a month. It's a lot different than singing at Idlewild, so I'm still getting used to it. But I love getting to be a part of it. Plus I'm still singing every other month in the Sunday Blend service.

Also, Jason and I started going to a small group, which is Grace's version of Sunday school or Bible Fellowship. We actually weren't planning to go to one anytime soon because of Jason's class 2 nights a week, but we went to a weekend marriage seminar where they were advertising new small groups. We saw one that was meeting on Sunday nights near where we live, so we decided to try it. We've only met 3 times, but I can tell it's going to be a good group and a good thing for us. So I'm thankful for the opportunity to get to know some more people at Grace, which is something I was needing.

Like I said, I've been doing a lot of scrapbooking in the last couple of months. I get things done a lot more quickly than I did when I first started. This is partly because I'm buying things rather than trying to make them. Yeah, I'm not quite at that point yet, but maybe I will one day. I was excited, though, because I won something from the website I go to. Scrapgirls.com does a newsletter 6 days a week. On Saturdays, they feature layouts as weekly winners, and sometimes monthly winners. I was looking at the newsletter a few weeks ago, and one of my layouts was a "weekly layout winner"! I was surprised because I had posted the layout about a month before, so I didn't expect it to be one that would be featured. Here's the layout.

It's from when Amy and the girls were here, and we went to Lowry Park Zoo one of the days. I used a layout template by Angie Briggs, and the paper and embellishments were by Trish Yochum. The February tag was by Amanda Sok. I won $5 to spend in the store, which doesn't sound like a lot, but most of the digital supplies range from $3 to $10, so it's really pretty cool. Later that week I also got $3 to spend from the site for my birthday, so it worked out pretty well for me.

Speaking of my birthday, I turned 37 on March 23. I was a little weirded out by the number, because it's such an odd number, and frankly, it just sounds OLD. However, for some reason, my age has come up a lot lately, and it's really nice to hear that people are surprised to hear my age because they thought I was much younger. (I assume that's a compliment of how young I look, and not an insult to my maturity-hahaha). But, I guess it's probably a combination of my mother's genes and the fact that I am not a mother yet. I'm afraid that as soon as I have kids I'll immediately age :) But probably not, since my mom still looks good for her age. So, yay for good genes!

On another note, I do need to lose weight. I don't feel that heavy, but I have seen pictures of myself lately, and I am truly surprised at how heavy I look. I just have very little motivation to do anything. But, I think I'm slowly working up to it. I really would like to lose some weight before I go and get pregnant and put it back on. So I guess I better get to working on it. I think I wrote about P90X a few months ago, and we never really started it. We're talking about it again, so hopefully I'll update about that soon.